inner joy--the excitement, the ecstasy, that you feel?"

Thus speaks Lorraine, Notice that in her "ecstasy" the last thing that could possibly disturb her mind was the thought of what the public might be thinking. Tag or no tag she was having a ball, and so did everybody else. Let me add here that I did not win any prize, that the people in the tables nearby thought we were imperson- ators (with whatever connotations that term may imply), that an over- whelming percentage of those in dresses were gay and that they talk- ed to us as they talk to each other, and that people were incredulous when told that Marie and Colleen were the actual wives of two of us.

I simply bring this up to show what I call our inconsistent be- haviour. If we stuck to strict logic we should never, never go to these affairs. And still we keep on going because it's fun. I guess logic is not a girl's forte.

As I pondered about this month's column, without being aware of what was happening, I fell into some kind of daydream which was so incredibly startling that I decided to share it with all of you. This is the dream: Following the pattern of that famous novel (made into a movie) TURNABOUT..there is a statue of a goddess (per- haps Venus Castina) who suddenly decides to grant the wishes of a lot of the girls who inhabit male bodies, and proceeds to turn all of us into bonafide, genetic women. Here we are, real women. Most of us--after the initial shock--decide that it feels pretty good, but to our dismay we discover that we have not gotten rid of our transvestio impulse!...and that our greatest desire now is to dress and act as men. What pains we take to play the man's role! We be- gin by cutting our hair as short as possible. Susanna's husband named Mario runs a wig shop and makes a fortune after inventing a toupes that can be worn over our short locks to give us that marvel- lous crewcut look. Mario goes so far as to sell a head-piece that gives you the bald spot. Several of the girls purchase these excit- ing transformations. Audrey is desperately trying to achieve the hairy look and falls into a trance when Mario designs a flesh color strip covered with curly hair to be glued to the arms, back of the hands and chest. Gail immediately takes advantage of these hairy strips and spends hours looking at herself in the mirror savoring at last a perfect mat of hair on her chest. The girls won't admit it but it becomes a matter of common knowledge that almost all of them are making furtive trips to see a doctor who has discovered a hormone which flattens the bust and will even, in some cases, grow

68.